Overcoming Fear and Trauma

   Warning, this may not be suitable for small children to read. I know I haven’t written in this blog for a long time, so I’m going to explain to you why. It’s time to be transparent, and pray this may help someone out there. Get comfy, this is a long one. (And I’ll spare most of the terrible details.)  In late September, I happily went for a walk with my fluffy white, little dog, on a leash, and a Pitt Bull leaped out of a home and charged us, clamping down on my dog to kill him, and ripping his leash from my hands and collar off of him. It was an exceedingly violent attack, and I, and the woman from the house, tried valiantly to beat the dog off mine while I shouted to the Lord for help, but to no avail. I ended up getting down on my knees and face buried in the grass praying and pleading the Lord to help….when suddenly, the much older woman was able to pry the pitt bull’s jaws open and get my dog out of it’s mouth. The Pitt didn’t bite her, or go after me, though it was growling at us. That was the first set of miracles. I raced to get my car, and drove him to the vet, as I was praying for him along the drive there because he wasn’t breathing or moving, he suddenly started breathing and moving around again. Miracle set number two. By the time he was transferred to a vet hospital in another city, he had started walking again. His recovery took over two months, with constant cleaning, wound care, hand feeding, and encouragement, but he has recovered very well. His bark is also healed now too, and hair grown back in. Miracle set number three. 
   He has shown a few signs of canine PTSD. But as his owner and someone familiar with such difficulties, I will be able to administer helpful remedies. Some of these include lots of love and attention, no shouting, bringing him to safe places to play and walk where he has only had good experiences, and avoiding large or barking dogs for a while.
    I’m going to be very transparent today and let you in on some things about me that you may find surprising, but all in the interest that some may receive the healing and help that they need. Doctors have diagnosed me with  PTSD, with side effects I won’t get into now. This is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. To put the symptoms simply, I used to avoid situations that may reflect or remind me of the events that caused the problem, and have memories that invade dreams, or daily life, that thank God, He has helped me by taking the fear out of them, and making them not as frequent. I avoided showing pain and my true emotions so long, that my pain tolerance was very high, and emotions often became the opposite of what I should have shown.
   I can talk of these things now without fear or trembling,  but at one time, that was not so. With the help of counselors, more than 30 years later, and developing a relationship with Christ,and yes, some medicine,  I have overcome that crippling fear that invaded my life more seriously back then.I still deal with some things daily and take them to the Lord in prayer each morning as I declare His word over my life.  So it is my prayer, that if anyone reading this knows someone who has been the victim of, or witnessed, a horrible event such as this, or any other traumatic situation, that you guide them to a Pastor, church, and/or counselor now (or if a canine, a vet), without delay. There is no shame in admitting you need help. But the price of waiting and not seeking help can be very high.
I do have flashes, I do still experience some symptoms, but I’m learning to discern them and deal with other symptoms.It took most of my lifetime for all these situations to tie together, and it may take a while for God, and the people He puts in my life to help me unravel it all.
  This incident with my dog did stir up memories for a while for me, but I took it to the Lord every time it happened, and He has helped me immensely. I have since walked by the same house and spoke to the owner of that dog (his dog was put down), but didn’t take my dog that way yet. It’s too soon for him. (He wouldn’t even go that direction!) The memories I started experiencing were not only from the dog attack, but made many others from my past resurface. And there were a lot of them to deal with. The church I attend has also been consistantly  praying for me, and my dog, and I have felt the calm assurance in peace overflow me from the Lord when they do.
   What happened to me in the past involved several incidents that spanned many years, but without proper time for healing in between, and I didn’t have knowledge of the word of God to help me. I was a believer, and God kept me from being killed many times in my life, and He is ultimately, the One who is helping me heal now. The list is long, but I’ll do my best to make it brief and without details:
  At a young age, I was pursued by sexual predators, witnessed violence in our home by a relative that involved knives and shotguns, and many drunken fist fights, lost all material goods in a flood, including our home, was blinded in an incident but received my sight by a miracle weeks later, hid from a hitman that attempted to shoot a family member and learned to look for bombs in the car to check daily for a time, was sexually assaulted twice, was stalked for almost 2 years, faced a serial killer face-to-face and got him caught, witnessed a hit-and-run kill a pedestrian, saw unmentionable auto/truck accidents, and narrowly escaped a few other gun incidents in Convenience stores, and been homeless more than once, for short periods, was strangled by one fiance’, and was left by another fiance’ when my mother was dying of cancer.I endured someone who was a violent drunk in our home for 12 years, was stopped by SWAT teams twice due to mistaken identity/bad information due to the color of my car, had an extended relative commit suicide due to gambling debts and drugs, another extended relative was murdered by two teens because he was gay, had things thrown at me and threats due to the way I was living before I came to know the word, almost died of pneumonia (saved by the grace of God), been fired, heckled, and persecuted. Whew!   There’s more, but that’s enough. .
  So you see, I understand what others may face when confronting violence and disaster. I went two years before I stopped looking behind doors, into closets, and in large cabinets before relaxing after coming home from work. I don’t like anyone touching my neck. I went years looking behind me to see who may be following. I couldn’t get dressed without fearing someone may be looking undetectably, I noticed the way people dressed and parked to tell if they could be concealing a weapon, or be wanting to commit a crime (profiled people), had horrible nightmares, and insomnia for years, and trouble trusting anyone, much less get into a serious relationship again. I still have memories of most everything. Sometimes that gets in the way  because the memories are so extreme that I cringe at times, or shake my head as if to think of something more pleasant.
   Now, I can sleep peacefully most of the time, and don’t have those fears invading my life. I ask God daily for His help and guidance.I take my medicine daily.   What it took to receive God’s peace in my life, and mind, was first accepting Him as my Lord and asking Him into my heart. Second, I had to learn to trust Him with my emotions. That meant, in the beginning,  revisiting the memories and letting Him heal me.I actually had to allow myself to feel again, and it was tremendously difficult. I had to develop discernment to know the difference between the enemy attack and a simple memory that could be healed. God will lead you through it gently, and will not remind you of it later, AND you’ll feel remarkably lighter afterwards. You’ll sense the peace He brings into that area. Another key step is forgiveness. God’s grace, strength, and mercy can help you with it.  
  So please, if you or anyone you know needs help from a traumatic event or illness, please seek the Lord, and get help right away. I can testify that the word is true, and leave you with these scriptures to meditate on today. Philippians 4:5-8 Highlight here only verse 7…read the rest at home and receive encouragement.) and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
   Also John 14:27…Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give unto you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
  Know, that as a child of God, He will always be with you, He is our Healer, Savior, Provider, Redeemer, and Refuge, Lord and King.  You can have peace. Trust Him. I thought I knew what peace and love really was….until I came to know Jesus. Oh , how wonderful it is…and finally know what it’s like to be truely loved. Get the help you need, …now.